If you're an anglophone speaking French in Québec, I’m pretty certain someone has asked you this. It happens to you when the waiter comes to take your order at the restaurant, when you go to the cash at your favourite shop, when you talk to someone on the street.
Sometimes it comes after you fumble or hesitate, or maybe after you ask someone to repeat what they said.
On the surface, when this happens we are being offered a choice: to continue in French, or to switch to English. There is no right or wrong answer here.
What matters most is what’s going on in your brain before responding. So many of us experience an internal battle that lasts nanoseconds but that feels like an eternity. Here are some of the thoughts that may be wreaking havoc in your mind:
“Seriously, again?!”
“Why can’t I just speak French without someone pointing out that I’m anglophone?”
“How am I ever going to belong if I can’t have a simple conversation in French?”
“Does my accent make me stick out that much?”
“Why can’t people just be patient with me?”
“Is this really a choice? They’re going to switch to English anyways”
These thoughts take over and have a direct impact on your subsequent emotions. You may feel frustration or anger, and therefore respond rudely. You may feel hopeless or sad, and respond with resignation, literally feeling your shoulders slump and the energy drain out of you.
When someone offers to speak to you in English, I’d like to remind you that you always have a choice as to what thoughts you think in response. You can let this interaction mean something about you and your abilities, or you can decide to respond differently, and keep your power.
I wanted to share a concrete example of this in action.
The other day, I was in a meeting where about half of the participants were native French speakers, and half were English speakers.
The meeting was conducted in French, and at one point, someone spoke up to ask a question in French, someone who was not a native French speaker. Before answering the question, the person leading the meeting switched to English and said that if anyone felt more comfortable speaking in English, that was perfectly fine. The non-native French speaker responded saying, “merci, mais je suis fière de mon français” with a smile on their face.
It was such a tiny moment, but it was actually revolutionary, and it's possible for you to have a moment like that, too.
It is possible to own all of who you are in French, in this province that you've chosen as your home.
Interested in finding out more? Book a free consultation with me to see how I can help you speak French with confidence: