When we think of language learning, we tend to focus on the skills that we need to acquire, like vocabulary and grammar. Sure, understanding and being able to use what I call “the mechanics” of a language is essential for communication. However, the factor that we tend to underestimate is “mindset” – or in other words, the way we perceive our own abilities and potential.
For example, there are certain statements that I hear repeated over and over again that are said with such acceptance and conviction. One of them is: “I’m not good at French.”
People typically tend to evaluate their language performance in unkind and biased ways that don’t actually reflect their abilities. When this happens in coaching sessions with my clients, it’s important for me to gently challenge these beliefs. A simple curious question like “Oh, what makes you say that?” is sometimes enough for them to pause and start thinking about what’s going on beyond this statement. Next time you catch yourself thinking a thought like this or saying it aloud to someone, I’d like you to try this technique of kindly challenging yourself, too. What makes you actually believe this statement? How true is it, really?
It may take a while to go from “I’m not good at French” to “I’m so confident in French,” which makes sense - that would be quite a stretch! It's more helpful to start adopting thoughts that are incrementally better than the last, thoughts that are actually believable to us.
For example, instead of having “I’m not good at French” be your go-to line, what about thinking “I’m trying in French”? Here are a couple of other examples of common thoughts I hear, with a more neutral reframe for you to try:
“I’m struggling with French” --> “I’m learning French”
“French is too hard to learn”--> “Learning French can feel challenging”
“I’ll never reach my goals in French” --> “I get closer to my goals every day that I practice”
Questioning these initial automatic thoughts, as innocent as they may seem, is the first step towards getting to where we want to be. The point isn’t to invalidate or brush aside our very real challenges and roadblocks – it’s to equip ourselves with clarity and self-compassion so that we do indeed take constructive strides on our linguistic paths. This is the process of building language resilience, and these are the foundational pillars that support us no matter where we are on our journey.
What thoughts do you tend to circle back to when you think about your language abilities?
Thank you for reading and please share this article with anyone in your life who may need a mindset reboot! :)
Interested in finding out more? Book a free consultation with me to see how I can help you speak French with confidence: