As a linguistic resilience coach who works with bilingual and multilingual people, something that my clients express from time to time is a belief that they can’t express their "real me” in their second or third language, despite being fluent. In other words, the belief is that we each have one way of being in our mother tongue (the “me”) that is untranslatable in our other languages.
It can be great to have the goal of learning to transpose certain personality traits into your second language, especially when you feel unable to do that at the moment.
However, a potential issue with having this one approach to self-expression is that it can create a scarcity mindset. For example, if we focus exclusively on how we are not enough (“I’m not fun enough in X language, like I am in my mother tongue,” “I’m not authentic enough in X language,” etc.), it can become difficult to create a sense of identity in a second language that feels empowering.
As a polyglot, learning languages fascinates me. I believe that language is much more than a tool for communication; for me, it’s also a process of self-discovery, an incredible journey where each language activates an aspect of ourselves to a greater degree than by the others that we speak.
One of poet Walt Whitman’s famous lines is “I contain multitudes,” and I can’t help but feel that this is true when it comes to our unique linguistic identities.
For example, when I speak English, I feel bubbly. This is the language where I feel I am the most exuberant.
When I speak French, I feel more serious. This is the language where I express my thoughtful side, and my need to be meticulous and precise.
When I speak Spanish, I feel bold. This is the language where I feel that I can really go for something without much fear.
I’ve recently added Turkish to the mix. Although I’m still very much a beginner, I sense that this is a language that will help me express my efficient, straightforward side.
Looking at language from this perspective, I feel empowered to discover and play to my strengths in each one, rather than believing that I can only show up as a shadow of my "native" version.
I’m curious to know which languages you speak and if you’ve also noticed these multitudes of who you are.
How do you feel when speaking each of your languages?
What possibilities could open up for you if you were to recognize the parts of yourself that exist in each of your languages?
Interested in finding out more? Book a free consultation with me to see how I can help you speak French with confidence: