In this article I'll share how this is a common myth, and how to achieve fluency in a way that works and is empowering.
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This construction where we say “once I have more of ‘x’, then I’ll do ‘y’ and then I’ll be ‘z’” is a statement that keeps us trapped in victim mode. We’ve bound ourselves to a set of circumstances in which we can only achieve our goal (be fluent) once the first condition (having more confidence) is met.
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But we know that confidence doesn’t just appear, and so without it, we never end up where we want to be. It’s a continuous loop that keeps us stuck: we don’t have the confidence, so we don’t practice the language, and therefore we aren’t more fluent when speaking.
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In coaching this is called the “have, do, be” myth, in which our success is dependent on external circumstances completely out of our control.
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--> Here’s the reframe: a more empowering alternative is referred to as the creator mindset, and instead of "have, do, be," it goes: “be, do, have.” When we live our lives according to this mindset, we ask ourselves the following questions: who do I want to be? What qualities would someone like this have? What action steps would a person embodying these qualities take? What would they then have, or feel?
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So let’s plug it in: the goal is to be more fluent in French - this is the “be.” If you were a person that went around to every social situation thinking “yes, I’m fluent in French,” how would you show up differently? A fluent speaker may be bolder, more decisive. They might take risks and speak up in meetings and conversations. These are examples of the “do,” or in other words, the action steps that you take. The result? You end up having more confidence.
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Sometimes we fall into a victim stance without realizing it, because it’s often easier to see what we’re lacking, and convince ourselves that having confidence is a prerequisite for being fluent. Instead, when we focus on who we need to be to have that confidence, we inspire ourselves to show up differently.
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This shift is for any level of language learner, no matter how basic or advanced your knowledge is. It’s not about tricking or convincing yourself that you’re fluent when you’re actually not. It’s about thinking of your future self as a fluent speaker and asking yourself what that version of you would do right now. Then, when you start to align your actions with that vision, right now in the present, you'll find yourself becoming more fluent and feeling more confident as a result.
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If you're feeling stuck in French, try out this exercise and let me know how it goes! :)

Interested in finding out more? Book a free consultation with me to see how I can help you speak French with confidence:

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